Thursday, January 20, 2011

Man. I Hate Killing Things.

I’m out working in the garage yesterday on another “man cave” sign, and my head is all quiet.  I don’t have music playing, either.  I don’t have a lot of ruckus around me, besides the sound of the scroll saw, and various sanders.  I’m just all, “la, la, la, la, laaa….sanding is fun….  la, la, la, la, laaaa….I have to saw this part… la, la, la, la, la…..”
Then…..what do I catch myself thinking about?
“How do I run my business if the house burns down?”
Seriously.  I came up with a disaster contingency plan for my woodworking/artisan business if something serious were to happen.  Since starting the Etsy shop has been a lot of work, and I’d hate to lose the progress I’ve made, I would need an alternative site until the house was re-built, a duplicate set of equipment, and all the odds and ends like paint brushes and gloves.
Well, not gloves.  Because although my husband loves me so much that he bought me a pair to save my little hands from being worked really hard, I hate them.  Loathe the gloves. They get in my way.
Start: “Rustic Carvings Disaster Contingency Plan”.
1.) I have to carfully assess how my company functions, so I know what’s necessary to keep my business running.  I must review my business flowchart.  This is step one.
2.) I’ll have to make a business flowchart.  Because right now, it’s just me sawing, sanding, and staining, many times in my PJ’s, in the garage or the kitchen.
3.) I’d have to identify succession of the management in case I’m not able to drive the business anymore.
4.) I need to hire other people, because all the dogs sleep on the job, and that’s just not acceptable.
5.) I have to identify my suppliers, shippers, resources and other businesses I interact with on a daily basis.  Pretty sure the post office isn’t going anywhere, or Etsy, other than that, I just need people to keep dumping old wood on my driveway.
6.) Do I have a driveway for people to dump their old wood on, if my house has burned down?  (Note to self: research when writing up flowchart)
7.) I’ll have to define crisis management procedures.  That’ll be me, pretty much, freaking out.  Check!
8.) I’ll need to coordinate with others.  See #4
9.) And, when it’s all done, I’ll have to review it annually because I tend to be forgetful about things like this.
But, what would I tell the people who have already ordered custom items?  Would I tell them to wait a week or so until I was up and running again?  Is that good enough?  Maybe down time should just be one day.
Or….maybe I should just give them a full refund.  That’d be nice of me.
OOOooo.  What if there’s an apocalypse?
Now that’s a whole different ballgame.  Would I be all…  ”MUST MAKE ARTWORK…. CAN’T RUN TO SHELTER…  MUST MAKE ARTWORK…”  with some disaster contingency plan?  Do we even have a shelter to run towards?  Like the internet and Etsy would still be ongoing or something, in the event of an apocalypse.  Like we’d even have electricity!
Well, there are generators….  Hm.
Do you think there would be zombies during the apocalypse?  Cause I really don’t like zombies.  They don’t go away when the lights come on, and that’s a problem for me. Except that they are slow moving, that’s helpful.
I wonder how I could save my art from being destroyed if zombies attacked my house. I’ve put a lot of time and effort into this stuff, and for little brain eaters to come along and destroy them would just be…..well, rude.
I better keep the gloves on the “Rustic Carvings Disaster Contingency” list, just in case I have to kill some zombies.
Man….  (sigh)  I hate killing things.
I wonder if the zombies would try to eat my brains.  Or maybe that of my dogs?  You know, trying to eat my brains would be one thing, but they cross the line if they go after my dogs.  Cross.  A.  Line.
Making a contingency plan just seems like too much work.  I haven’t even thought about what to do in the event vampires start wandering around…  There’s just too many variables.
End: “Rustic Carvings Disaster Contingency Plan”.
Start: Project, “Fly by the Seat of Yo’ Pants”.

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